Last week you eliminated me and now you expect me to write a post about all the people that are still competing in Biggest Cock & Rudest Loser 2? Nice. Real nice. This week we asked all the remaining contestants (not me) what food they missed the most. Here’s what all those jerks had to say…
FDot: Well, sometimes I feel like having a nut and sometimes I don’t. Luckily, Peter Paul’s Almond Joy’s got nuts and Peter Paul’s Mounds don’t. Almond Joy’s got real milk chocolate, coconut and munchy nuts too, while Mounds has deep, dark chocolate and chewy coconut, ooooo *shivers*. But alas, with the competition there is no chewy coconuts or nuts for that matter. I also miss greatly 100,000 Grand Bars, 3 Musketeers, Airheads, Baby Ruth Bars, Butterfingers, Caramellow Bars, Chuckles, Chunkys, Dots, Dove Bars, Swedish Fish, Fun Dip, Goobers, Good & Plenty, Junior Mints, Kit Kats, Krackle Bars, M&M’s, Mike & Ikes, Milk Duds, Milky Way Bars, Nerds, Nestle Crunch, Paydays, Raisinets, Reeses, Ring Pops, Rolos, Skittles, Snickers, Starbursts, Tootsie Rolls, Twix Bars, Twizzlers, Whatchamacallits, and York Peppermint Patties, because when I bite into one, I get the sensation of being in a fresh Spring day, romping through a meadow with a family of gazelles at my side.
Jere: I miss ice cream. I haven’t had any ice cream in months. I miss picking up a pint of Ben & Jerry’s on the way home and pretending like I had a boyfriend who broke up with me giving me an excuse to watch chick flicks and pig out.
Mush: After eight weeks on a regular calorie-restricting diet, I was going batshit. I was craving pizza and Mexican food and bread like you wouldn’t believe. My daily caloric intake skyrocketed from 1500 calories per day to 2300. I was craving food all the time. So I switched to a no-refined-carbs approach instead: no white flour, no white sugar, no white rice. Hunger problems are solved because my fat and protein intakes are up, and I’ve lost an inch off my waist and half an inch off my neck in the five days I’ve been doing it! (I’ve also gained three pounds, but historically that will be because The Curse™ is on its way.) I’m interested in seeing how this approach – which appears to regulate insulin and therefore adipose fat deposits – works. It’s certainly easier than merely counting calories, even though I find that my calorie intake stays down where I want it to with much less effort. Cheese and eggs and Caesar salads for everyone!
Paul: I have to say the one food that I truly miss is Ciao Bella Key Lime Graham Gelato. This stuff is better than sex, which is good because the F.U.P.A. building calorie count on this stuff will guarantee your wee-wee is in constant shadow. Of course, my grocery store has had this buy one get one free since January so when I get home from grocery shopping every week I stick pins in this voodoo doll and write my blurb.
Ryan: I miss being able to get fast food without spending fifteen minutes looking at online menus to figure out what on the menu, eating things in the cafeteria that aren’t easy to figure out what the ingredients are and how much, and being and to bake cookies for myself.
And now, this week’s results:
And now, like every week it’s time to eliminate a player. Here’s how it works: just like American Idol, you vote for the team that you want to save. The team with the least votes will be eliminated. Polls close around Noon (EST) on Saturday.
Don’t forget to vote, and feel free to discuss this week’s results in the comments!
